by Eunike | Nov 5, 2025 | Mental Health, Story

When I’m not okay | Faith, Mental Health, and Hope in God

It’s okay to not be okay. This story shares how faith and God’s grace meet us in our mental health struggles — and how healing begins with honesty. 💛

Eunike Story Episode 1 — When I’m Not Okay

“Do you ever have those days when you’re not okay and you wonder, ‘Am I a bad Christian for feeling this way?’
I’ve been there.”

💛 Hi, I’m Eunike

I’m an Indonesian living in the Philippines.
Welcome to Eunike Story — where I share real stories about life, faith, and the lessons I’ve learned while walking with God.

Today, I want to talk about something many of us experience but rarely talk about openly: when we’re not okay, even as Christians.

💭 The Struggle No One Saw

A few years ago, I was newly diagnosed with a mental health condition. It was one of the hardest seasons of my life. I still tried to go to church that time, even when stepping outside the house already felt like a battle. One night, during a prayer meeting, the speaker read Psalm 1 and said,

“If you truly trust God and live in Him, you won’t have depression.
You’ll be like a tree planted by the waters.”

Can you imagine hearing that while I was already fighting inside, it crushed me even more. Instead of comfort, I felt judged. It sounded like they were saying,

“You don’t trust God enough — that’s why you’re struggling.”

I remember going home that night, crying, and thinking, “Lord, if I really have faith, why am I still like this?” I felt like such a failure as a Christian.

But looking back now, I don’t hate that person. It was around two years before the pandemic and people didn’t really talk about mental health yet, especially in church. Still, I was heartbroken that the place I expected to find safety and support ended up making the burden heavier.

✨ A Turning Point

Later on, I found hope through a story that changed everything for me — the story of Elijah.

📖 When Elijah Wasn’t Okay

In 1 Kings 19, Elijah — this powerful prophet who had just called down fire from heaven — suddenly ran away, sat under a broom tree, and prayed that he might die. He said,

“I have had enough, Lord.”

Even Elijah hit a wall of exhaustion and depression. But notice how God responded: He didn’t scold him. He didn’t say, “Where’s your faith?” Instead, God sent an angel to let him rest — and to feed him. Twice.

No sermon. No lecture. No judgment.
Just rest. Just care.

It shows that God cares for the whole person — body, mind, and spirit. Sometimes, the most spiritual thing we can do is to rest, eat, and recover.

🌷 A New Way of Seeing Myself

That story changed me.

I used to feel guilty for not being okay, for needing rest, or for seeking professional help. I thought it meant I wasn’t depending on God enough for healing.

But Elijah’s story reminded me: even prophets get tired. Even people of great faith can feel not okay. And yet, God meets us right there. He doesn’t shame us — He restores us gently.

💬 A Word for You

So if you’ve ever felt like your struggle makes you “less Christian,” please remember this:

You are not weak, you are human. And God understands your exhaustion more than anyone. If you’re in that season right now, rest. Eat. Breathe. Take your time to heal.

Because sometimes, healing begins not by doing more, but by allowing God to care for you — even in the silence. It’s okay to not be okay… but remember, God doesn’t want you to stay that way. Healing is part of His plan for you. 💛

This is Eunike Story — thank you for reading my story until the end. If this spoke to your heart, share it with someone who might need a reminder of hope today.

See you in the next episode. Let’s keep growing in grace, together. 🌿